oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
