my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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