Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
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There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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