too bad you live with your parents still
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
