It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
