just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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