I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize