I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize