well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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