i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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