I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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