So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
