dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
