So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
