Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
