he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
