Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
