i just wanna soil my oats bro
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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