I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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