This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
