chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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