he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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