My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
