it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize