I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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