Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
