that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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