Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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