She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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