Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
