bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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