Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
