So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
