Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
