He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
