One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
