I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
