hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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