i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
is that a dick in a sweater?
as a side note pls kill me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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