Having a random hookup so left but love u
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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