Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
