I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.