Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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