oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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