Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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