Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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