Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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