You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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