we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize