his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
