I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
