he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the day after is always just damage control
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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