I think I am morally bankrupt
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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