I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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