...so i touched it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
